Grief in the space of the unknown.

Vague images of your smile, and faint echos of your cheerful voice, 

singing - the Hokkien song just right before the rain. 

So distant, i could barely recall the melody. 

i think i was probably only three. 

Much of your life,

you drove the cab. 

Sometimes, our family chauffeur during my adolescence. 

Man of few words, much silence between us. 

And I wished I knew more of your story from you, the man yourself. 

; not from other kins only after your departure. 

I wished i was there to hear the guilt

on the blame dictated and pasted on you that was 

never yours to carry. 

And the unsupported claims of being a ‘lunatic’ 

when clearly you were sane to me. 

It’s funny cause,

after your passing 

I realised how alike we both were.

That we felt that we have the potential antidote to this ancient grudge 

that has been edged in the spine of some psychopaths. 

Ironically, blood ties does not always run thick. 

Before, 

you choose to gave a deliberate untold goodbye 

it was just after mid-autumn.

And my only recollection was passing you a piece of the mooncake. 

And that’s ....?

That’s .. all that it is. 

A human being reduced to 

just bones and ash. 

I take steps back now and see, how the jolly man you, 

have turned all gloomy with the passing time. 

The weariness of life gradually hanging more prominently on your face.

Something rings in me that i should’ve known better. 

How in your silence,

there was untold love. 

In your silence, 

there was untold care. 

And in your silence, 

There was all the untold agony. 

And,

my heart ached

That you, 

having lived 81 years, 

had seen no more of life to life. 

And,

I grieved that in space of the unknown, 

I did not have the wisdom to  

Be more present to you, 

though we all shared a roof. 

They say life is a karmic cycle. 

in light, love and peace i pray for your very next.

My Grandpa, 

走好.