Stop apologising for the things you shouldn' be sorry for.

How many times have you been apologising this week? For even things that are not fault, which the word “sorry” slips off your lips so easily. That even when a stranger bump onto you, you were the one to apologise instead. I told one of my best friends yesterday that i felt bad to not meeting the expectations of the perfect me others craft out in their head. But really, was i really sorry for that?

Why are we at times so permitted not to reject and say “No” ? Saying yes may make you happy, but saying no will make me free. And at times when we do say yes, it is alright for us to say that we choose life’s decisions and that the responsibility is up for us to carry. Therefore, the reason why i do not rant much about my past life to people around me. Each passing journey was a lesson, and with them is what make myself as me today. 

I read this this morning which instantly serves as my wake up call:

” People will always find something to be offended about, and if that happens to be you then raise your coffee and drink their bitterness for breakfast. The challenge lies in finding the balance between giving a fuck and not giving a fuck. But remember a little selfishness isn’t necessary a bad thing; otherwise we lose that innate sense of self.

Because who, at the end of the day, do you spend time with? Who goes home with you? Smiles with you? Cries with you? Pick you up from the shower floor? Pushes you to persevere at your lowest?

Who has made you survive until now? You. Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself. 

You have treated people with politeness and niceness all these years, and it is time to do that to yourself. “

Then again, how many of you are hating yourself and beating up yourself for things you have no control over again. And instead, took the things you have control over for granted. Even the things you have control over now, will not necessary be what you have control over for the entire lifetime. So perhaps, instead of crying and whining how life is unfair to you, why don’t you take a step back and cherish what you have now. Appreciate people who genuinely stayed and stop your pushing game, because life is not a movie and people will not constantly chase you back with concern again. You will realise how little acts of love are constantly revolving around you. Yet, you are always so consumed about the minority who throw negative opinions at you instead. Drop your apology and stop letting them hinder your way. 

“In a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.” Yet, that doesn mean you should follow what society deems you to follow.  I think we should all start to do what’s good for ourselves, which not necessary have to be what people perceive as right. Truth is they are not us and only we know ourselves best. That we don’t constantly owe an explanation for the world. We do not need a thumbs up for doing the things we do, the philosophies we believe in. And then same thing, vice versa effect; you do not have to agree with a single thing i said. It’s completely okay. 

I’m not saying you should be entirely self centred or harbour evil thoughts and be okay with it. I’m saying you should learn that it’s entirely okay to be alone and learn how to embrace it. That’s it’s okay to say “no” and “me” without shame. I’m saying you should take what’s yours without remorse and what cut off what doesn treat you good with vicious finality.

And that we should stop doing so much for the sake of pleasing others all the time.

Love yourself be selfish when you need to ;

and most importantly, do not live your life as an apology. 

-a.g , extracts from ARTPARASITES, The importance of being selfish.
artwork by Alex G Paradise