Talking about Validation
The world is seen through the eyes of each and every individual differently. As quoted by Cheshire Cat
Painful situations are also opportunities to grow, however they also can breed fear and trapped trauma. I am a mediocre writer and I can only write from so much that I've experienced and came to know. With that being said, my knowledge today will definitely be different from tomorrow's.
We begin as a child, seeking our very first validation from our parents. With whining, crying, trying to gain their attention. Then, you will also find yourself showing off that full marks you got from just a spelling test, full of triumph.
Teenage years, you seek validation from people around you. You wanted to 'fit in', to definitely be more attractive at least to your crush? It's not uncommon to get hair reborning, a change of style and some new contact lenses.
At Adolescence, you seek from social media posts, likes, comments, followers. Also, probably looking as 'wild' and 'young' as you can be. After all these are the only years you can fuck up and maybe blame it on being ignorant.
As an adult, you seek validation from a 'good' job, something that is supposedly able to deemed you as 'successful' as compared to the rest.
the story goes on. when will they finally stop?
Like grades, we are looking for a rating, we love looking at ratings, numbers, statistics. That no matter how good we have done, it's sort of never enough? Truth is, yes it definitely is not enough because we have the capacity to grow and stretch our potentials with each baby step.
However, at the end of the day who are you really trying so hard to prove to? What if we took away these people, is there still a need for approval? Sometimes, it takes a lot of courage to tell ourselves that we are good, strong and worthwhile. That this is not the end, it still goes on, looking back on our failures as valuable experiences much as celebrating successes.
Once, I was told that I had too much negativity in me. I wanted to response 'I couldn help it, this dark thing it sleeps in me' but instead I just brush it off, covering with layers and layers of self deceit. After all, I don't want to look weak. That my emotions will be in my way of achieving all the greater things. This was a person I really admired and love at that time which was not reciprocated. He treats it like I know the rules of the game, which I didn even want to play in the first place. Slowly, I got the cold war. I learn the cold, getting all these shivers and goosebumps. Who knows opening up to the wrong people could be this bad?
The domino effect begins and I learnt to be nonchalant, indifference. Filtering all sorts of negative emotions I have. As long as I don't show them, they shouldn come back right? But they will, eventually come back in uglier ways. The lost of an ability to love others how they should be loved. I regretted so much definitely. Concealing is also a form of denial, trying to make it a valid excuse for refusing love and tormenting others unintentionally. It wasn fun, instead a lot of pain yet again.
Even feeling, the basis of what makes us humane has got to seek validation. It's sick to think about it.
' I am not crazy, my reality is just different from yours'Experiences shaped us I believed they leave well both the positive and negative impacts.
Painful situations are also opportunities to grow, however they also can breed fear and trapped trauma. I am a mediocre writer and I can only write from so much that I've experienced and came to know. With that being said, my knowledge today will definitely be different from tomorrow's.
We begin as a child, seeking our very first validation from our parents. With whining, crying, trying to gain their attention. Then, you will also find yourself showing off that full marks you got from just a spelling test, full of triumph.
Teenage years, you seek validation from people around you. You wanted to 'fit in', to definitely be more attractive at least to your crush? It's not uncommon to get hair reborning, a change of style and some new contact lenses.
At Adolescence, you seek from social media posts, likes, comments, followers. Also, probably looking as 'wild' and 'young' as you can be. After all these are the only years you can fuck up and maybe blame it on being ignorant.
As an adult, you seek validation from a 'good' job, something that is supposedly able to deemed you as 'successful' as compared to the rest.
the story goes on. when will they finally stop?
Like grades, we are looking for a rating, we love looking at ratings, numbers, statistics. That no matter how good we have done, it's sort of never enough? Truth is, yes it definitely is not enough because we have the capacity to grow and stretch our potentials with each baby step.
However, at the end of the day who are you really trying so hard to prove to? What if we took away these people, is there still a need for approval? Sometimes, it takes a lot of courage to tell ourselves that we are good, strong and worthwhile. That this is not the end, it still goes on, looking back on our failures as valuable experiences much as celebrating successes.
Once, I was told that I had too much negativity in me. I wanted to response 'I couldn help it, this dark thing it sleeps in me' but instead I just brush it off, covering with layers and layers of self deceit. After all, I don't want to look weak. That my emotions will be in my way of achieving all the greater things. This was a person I really admired and love at that time which was not reciprocated. He treats it like I know the rules of the game, which I didn even want to play in the first place. Slowly, I got the cold war. I learn the cold, getting all these shivers and goosebumps. Who knows opening up to the wrong people could be this bad?
The domino effect begins and I learnt to be nonchalant, indifference. Filtering all sorts of negative emotions I have. As long as I don't show them, they shouldn come back right? But they will, eventually come back in uglier ways. The lost of an ability to love others how they should be loved. I regretted so much definitely. Concealing is also a form of denial, trying to make it a valid excuse for refusing love and tormenting others unintentionally. It wasn fun, instead a lot of pain yet again.
Even feeling, the basis of what makes us humane has got to seek validation. It's sick to think about it.
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